i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
