May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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