I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
