dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He felt like a one man threesome
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
