He had one of those small greek statue penises
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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