the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
