Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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