I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
