Sry I called you an 8
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
should my penis look like a turkey
His hands were made for my vagina.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
