Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
