i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
