So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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