So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
