Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
