Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
