um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize