Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
