haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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