Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
