Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize