i think my tv is drunk
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
