She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
