That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
