i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
