I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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