Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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