How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
