Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
