Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
