i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
wow bdsm is so cute
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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