I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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