I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
