We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
