when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
