I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize