when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
