Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
