waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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