Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
