fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
