I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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