8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
