His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
