I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am one with the molecules
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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