Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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