Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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