I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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