We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We need a shit load of segways right now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
