Sry I called you an 8
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
