It was confusing and full of hummus
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
