I wanna bring you to show and tell
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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