spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
