he told me I talked like a deaf person
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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