this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
