i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
