Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
