I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
