There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize