what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
