is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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