Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you didnt know i had herpes?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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