but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
