barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
