he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
