It was confusing and full of hummus
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
