It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
