Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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