I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
