where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
