Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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