have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
